“Chill mom,” is the phrase I get to hear often. When I am in a nasty ‘instruction mood’, telling my son to get up, get ready, make his bed, put the room in order –all in a row without a breather, I get it back, “Theek hai, mamma, got it.” Also there are times when I get into ‘interrogation mode’, throwing a volley of questions at him, one after another without a chance for him to speak, my younger one signals me to calm down. “Mamma, cool down. Relax. Aap ko tezi aa rahi hai.”(You are becoming hyper.) I realize it is time for me to pause, take a deep breath, and do a little introspection. More often than not, I recognize that I have been shifting goal-posts and turning into a nagging mother.
What a role reversal! There was a time when I was taming my little brats, managing their tantrums and handling their bouts of irritability; and now my grown up lads gauge my temper, teach me how to handle my blood pressure. As kids, they would always approach me for comfort, now it’s I who turn to them. When I am upset they try to sooth me. “Mom, its O.K. Take it easy.” Needless to say, I share a special bonding with my sons.
Now-a-days it is fashionable, on the social-media especially, to sing praises of daughters but even sons are affectionate in their own way. They would not chat with you on telephone for hours together, certainly won’t give minute detail of their activities. Of course, they are quite capable of forgetting your birthday; have to be reminded of Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, yet you know they care for you. When they are grown up, you should not expect them to hug you and tell you that you are the best mom in the world. These are the niceties reserved for the mothers of daughters . You must accept that boys are different; not as expressive as daughters but are a big support definitely.
Etched in my memory is an incident-when my car broke down in the middle of a busy roundabout. I looked around helplessly but the traffic just moved on. At a time when I was feeling miserable my senior colleague, Ms Manju Singh who happened to pass by that side appeared like a guardian angel. Back then I did not feel the need to carry a mobile phone. I borrowed my friend’s hand set to make an emergency call not to my husband but my elder son who was pursuing engineering at Panjab University. Within minutes he was there to take complete charge of the situation. No questions asked, no irritation, just the genuine concern expressed. The moment I saw him it was burden off my head.
All I can say is that blessed are the parents of daughters but it is no less a blessing to be a mother of loving and caring sons.
(Published in Hindustan times Oct7, 2015)