The evolving ‘Mrs’: Women across different generations
Sometime back, I watched a much-talked-about Hindi film ‘Mrs’. It’s a poignant story of a bubbly young woman Richa who marries into an educated family of doctors, only to find herself trapped in the relentless drudgery of domestic chores. She learns to cook elaborate meals to meet her husband’s and his family’s expectations, but she quickly loses all her enthusiasm as her labour goes unnoticed and her efforts remain unappreciated. Richa is a talented dancer who yearns to venture out and work, but she is constantly dissuaded. Instead, she’s urged to follow in the footsteps of her doctorate mother-in-law, who gave up her own career to raise her children decades ago. The starry-eyed bride slowly transforms into a shell of her former self when she realizes that no one cares for her life or her dreams.
Though I haven’t personally experienced Richa’s exact struggles, her story deeply resonates with me. The casual misogyny depicted in the film prompts me to reflect on the gender dynamics within families—specifically, a woman’s position relative to her man—across generations.
My thoughts turn first to my grandmother, born almost a century ago in the first quarter of the last century. Married at a tender age, my granny never had a chance to enjoy a carefree childhood. She spent her entire life within the four walls of her home, bearing and rearing half a dozen children. My granny slogged day in and day out, looking after the needs of a large family, but she barely had any say in decision-making. Her husband, my grandfather, was the undisputed lord; his word was her command.
Coming to my mother’s generation, born a decade or so before India’s independence, women were better educated. My mother enjoyed a relatively greater degree of freedom than her mother, but she seldom questioned a man’s superiority. She was quite content playing second fiddle to her husband.
My own generation of women, called the Boomers, born in independent India in the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s, faces a distinct challenge. Women have stepped out to work, but men normally don’t share household responsibilities. While they may be earning, all major decisions are often still made by men. The problem is that while women have evolved, men of this generation often retain the mindset of their fathers believing that they are the boss, the undisputed head .Needless to say, the boss thinks he is always right. The educated urban woman of my age finds herself in a dilemma. She is neither as submissive as her mother nor possesses the assertiveness of the modern twenty-first-century woman to fully chart her own course. Her situation is akin to that of Trishank, the mythological king suspended between Heaven and Earth—neither here nor there.
I believe this is changing now. The urban educated millennial woman, who has been raised to be strong and confident, is not overly accepting. She has no qualms about being independent, vocal, and assertive about her rights. Unlike the women of my generation who had limited career options, the woman of the twenty-first century is breaking stereotypes, establishing herself in erstwhile male-dominated arenas. She is shattering the glass ceiling to assume leadership positions in industry and government organizations.
The young man of today has no choice but to accept the new-age educated woman who does not conform to the traditional feminine mould; therefore, he must change. He ought to be supportive, empathetic toward women’s aspirations and also forthcoming in sharing household responsibilities. He must see the writing on the wall. If he doesn’t, he will be left high and dry; this is precisely what the film depicts. In the end, Richa walks out of her marital home and starts a life afresh. Unlike her mother-in-law, who accepted and silently endured her man’s subjugation, Richa breaks free of patriarchal oppression and domestic drudgery. This is a clear sign of a changing gender dynamic—a rebellion against misogyny.
(Published in Woman’s era October 2025 issue)
Wonderful Rama. Your style is so simple but still very impressive.
Thanks dear for boosting my morale.
An insightful take on the societal and psychological tug of war in an Indian woman’s life be it your grandmother, your mother ,the Boomer or the millennial female ….. beautifully expressed and concluded with a practical approach and a pleasant prescription for happy married life….well done Rama…God bless you 🙏
Thank you dear Mrs Dhawan for your generous compliments. In fact ,you are the one who deserves all the compliments for analysing the piece so beautifully. 🙏❤️
Thank you sooo much for your kind words…Love you a lot for your sweet innocent and yet down to earth way of looking at life’ s important issues..God bless you always 🙏
This is so sweet of you..
No words to express my feeling ..
feel blessed. 😇
Thank you so much for all your love and blessings.
Well written Rama. It resonates well with most of the women of our generation , balancing home & career .
Your blogs are very insightful as always.
Keep writing 👍
Glad that the article resonates with you . Thanks Pamela for your appreciation. I feel motivated.
Amazing analysis about changing roles of females over generations . I think rebellion amongst new generation has set a trend for boys going down their knees to propose unlike our generation where boy comes to “see” the girl with his family and girl appears with tea tray ! I heard my friends nine year old granddaughter saying – i am not an introvert submitting to everyone s command ! The next generations are overconfident and it is mum in law who needs to be careful least the girl walks out of marriage !
A little introspection is needed – if no one in marriage takes middle path of accommodating each other and girls remain demanding , divorce rates are going to increase . It should be shared responsibility for sure but children need biological mother more than father i opine
You always come up with brainstorming articles ! Keep writing dear Rama and keep giving us the stimulus to scratch our heads ! Well done !
Thanks Vini for your insightful comment and also for your constant support and motivation .
Vini dear, you have raised a valid point . It’s like a pendulum going from one extreme to the other, from suppression to aggression. Earlier marriages survived mainly because of the tolerance of women. But, today’s urban educated woman is not ready to accept subjugation, hence the increased divorce rate . You are right balance is the key to harmonious relationship in a happy marriage.
You have traced the process of transformation chronologically and have woven the narrative with intricate realities of life seamlessly. It’s the awareness of power, lying dormant since ages, that has led to a state of liberation for the female population.
Well presented dear Rama …
Thank you so much dear Vidula . The very fact that you read the article and chose to leave your comment is a huge honour to me .
Congratulations Rama for writing another thought provoking article. It will definitely lead to a debate. As shown in the movie you mentioned, the girl in the joint family is choked without any support from the husband whereas in nuclear families boys do adjust and help the wives who are working.
But these days I am watching reals by a psychiatrist and according to him the working women who are his clients are undergoing a fatigue as the expectations from them are more. They have to contribute their salaries towards the household expenses and have no control over their own money or having a say in household decisions specially in joint families. Its so sad knowing this. And in case of a divorce she is not eligible for alimony. The males go scot free. I always felt that the things would change for the next generation but it has yet to percolate to the majority of the people. But you are right that if both the partners compromise a little bit, a balance can be achieved but in a joint family things are still difficult
Alka dear , you have raised an important issue regarding the pressures that working women undergo . That is sadly the cost women have to bear for chasing their dreams. To take up a career or to give up one’s aspirations is definitely not an easy choice .
Always grateful to you dear Alka for reading my articles with interest and giving your insight into the subject.
Well done Rama!!What a clear-cut analysis of state of women in male dominated society!! Often women have to sacrifice their dreams to fulfill their family demands!!Yes things are changing yet the mindset needs to be addressed and I think again it’s responsibility of mothers to prepare their sons to adapt the change and give breathing space to their spouse.
Thank you so much Neelam . It’s amazing how we think alike . Theek pakren hain aap !
Yes , while girls have changed , boys continue to have the old mindset. I, too , feel as mothers it’s our responsibility to give right values to boys. They should not only be empathetic towards their spouses but should also share household responsibilities.
Dear Rama, your simple writing style has a tremendous impact on the reader, much better than rhetoric kaden verse we are accustomed to. If we survey our class of 1974, you will find most women worked beyond the household chores, are neither submissive nor assertive; just productive and confident. Most men, on the other hand, have not been exposed to household chores, perhaps not because they did not wish so, but because they were married to nice women who took it all upon themselves. I recall transitioning to kitchen duties adroitly when my wife was posted out, and took it as a matter if fact, no grudges (even though my kids pined for the better meals their mother used to lay out). I think the change towards equality of both opportunity and responsibility came in our generation, as we were educated in moral science and could understand the inequities our mothers and grandmothers faced. Hence, we were also able to imbue those ethos in our children. Tganks for sharing a nice piece.
Thanks Atul for your heartening feedback. I am delighted to know your progressive views. Great that there are men supportive of their spouses, empathetic towards their aspirations and ready to share household responsibilities.
May your tribe grow !!
Lovely piece, Rama. You capture the rise in women’s assertiveness and society’s overdue recognition of women as equal partners—often more resilient and capable. This shift needs to accelerate—not just because it’s fair, but because it strengthens families: two heads are better than one, two incomes ease the load, and a mother’s education lifts children’s outcomes and social awareness.
Patriarchy won’t loosen its grip easily; it asks men to relinquish unearned dominance and unlearn old habits. Even when we accept equality in principle, change is hard—entrenched norms, financial asymmetry, safety concerns, and the unequal burden of care keep dragging us back.
As you say, we’re a work in progress. More power to this shift—and to voices like yours that propel it. Women must keep pushing, and men must stand alongside them, so we get there sooner.Ra
Ramesh, thank you so much .
Your words sound music to my ears . It is immensely gratifying to know that there are men like you in my generation of boomers who endorse, appreciate and also encourage woman’s rise .
Yes , change in mindset is not easy . If intent is there , sooner or later , it will turn into reality. Though it may take generations to attain complete gender parity .
Of course, it’s a work in progress. More power to the push towards an equitable world !! 👍
Rama, in today’s educated society, the requirement of wife working alongside husband has truthfully become a necessity which wasn’t there during our struggle time. Even in today’s urban society, the male works and does assist his equally earning better half but the load of responsibilities on the woman are comparatively much more on her both in the office and at the home front. Atleast the self esteemed self made self reliant educated woman has an option to fly out of the castigated life and venture it out to her choice in the field of her specialisation as that lady does in the movie Mrs. In today’s world the men have realised the value of the women but yes in many areas of our country, the same old state of women persists. Probably the lack of education is a major factor denuding their status that too in country where the same men worship women as Goddess.
Narinder, the reality is within their heart, men may be knowing the worth of their wives but male ego comes in the way of openly admitting and supporting them. This has been the trend , though it is changing now . But the change is slow and mainly confined to urban educated man .
Your article has inspired me to look for movie Mrs. Enjoyed your article which is a fact seen all around. Is it that Nature has a policy for a female to work n serve male side. Had watched the documentary on lions. How a lioness runs n looks for animals for food and once assualted the prey animal, awaits her for her male consort to come n eat first. Lioness has extra responsibilities of giving birth n rearing her cubs too.
So far Nature is consistent .
Anyway humans need to evolve n change their outlook with time.
Well written Rama 👍
Thanks Anshula. Glad the article resonated with you .
I never knew this particular trait of a lioness ..serving food to His Highness. the lion . Thought it is a norm peculiar to humans only .
From Drudgery to Dreams..
Is topic beautifully woven…. Touching evolvment of women status…. As you watch roles from granny to mom to exactly yours role n including modern day women… Citing popular example from a successful movie.. ‘ Mrs ‘……
Topic often takes front attention as between Mrs. N Mr.. Is d fogg light…!!!!
Yes.. Grannies remaining in four walls.. .. Commanded 4…or..5..sons n ruling huge army of grandchildren.. N their position was unchallenging…!!!!!
A silent hold our mothers had.. With mixed education n job opportunities…. Husband was boss.. Yes you are true..!!!
Queens born in 50s…60s…like us…
We’re like…
Dhobi Ka Gadha… Na Ghr Ka Na Ghat Ka….
Shuttling between home n job n… Eyes down faces…
Slowly triggering fire 🔥blew fully as is now…
Husband following written on. Walls..
Holding kids…
Sharing household chores for wife is not only a teacher she may be full time banker or CEO…!!!
From our grandmothers to daughter in laws… Chains are Loosened..
Lioness roars.. Only feminity n mothers delicacy is to be restored… For the welfare of all experiencing fast changing social fabric.
An intelligent article by you Rma.. Motivates to bring out inner feelings..
Luv..
Be blessed always..
❤❤
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
Di , can’t thank you enough for the detailed analysis. Astounded by the way you have analysed the article in detail resonating with my views .
Always grateful to you .
To me reading your article is visualising a very simple.. Topper.. Hindi speaking… Devoted… Sincere… Junior walking upto Eco. Dept.. DAV. CLG… JALANDHAR….
Girl.. .. Name Rma…
Whose every word tried to catch true picture of whichever topic she chooses to focus..!!!!!!
To me you are an Institution.. N every thought n feeling that you collect is the basket …. Is precious n delightening.. N learning.. N grass roots realities…
Much thanks to you rather..
Keep serving literature… That has content.. Expression… Truth.. N simlicity..
Be blessed.. Always…!!!!
Ah! The picture you paint ….. visualise lovingly and fondly fills my heart with joy .
I remain eternally grateful to you for all your love and blessings.🤗🥰
Ma’am, you beautifully penned four transitions phases of a middle class common Indian woman(covering time about a hundred year )
I also noticed the same.My beautiful Nani lead a very simple life,no education,limited resources,few sarees,no exposure,no entertainment and had no expectations.Still satisfied.
Changes in women life came after independence,though it was slow.Now scenario is changed.Better education facilities,more legal rights, better employment opportunities and more scopes ,guidance.Many financial benefits and even special schemes for them.All these measures have increased confidence.
Ma’am,it is said ,Nothing is permanent,but change.
Dear Garima , I loved the way you have described your beautiful nani’s life. Most striking is the way you portrayed her life as simple and satisfied. This is what the issue is : with awareness, dissatisfaction creeps in as the reality falls short of expectations.
Thanks dear for your insight.