From Drudgery to Dreams

The evolving ‘Mrs’: Women across different generations
Sometime back, I watched a much-talked-about Hindi film ‘Mrs’. It’s a poignant story of  a bubbly young woman Richa who marries into an educated family of doctors, only to find herself trapped in the relentless drudgery of domestic chores. She learns to cook elaborate meals to meet her husband’s and his family’s expectations, but she quickly loses all her enthusiasm as her labour goes unnoticed and her efforts remain unappreciated. Richa is a talented dancer who yearns to venture out  and work, but she is constantly dissuaded. Instead, she’s urged to follow in the footsteps of her doctorate mother-in-law, who gave up her own career  to raise her children decades ago. The starry-eyed bride slowly transforms into a shell of her former self when she realizes that no one cares for her life or her dreams.

Though I haven’t personally experienced Richa’s exact struggles, her story deeply resonates with me. The casual misogyny depicted in the film prompts me to reflect on the gender dynamics within families—specifically, a woman’s position relative to her man—across generations.

My thoughts turn first to my grandmother, born almost a century ago in the first quarter of the last century. Married at a tender age, my granny never had a chance to enjoy a carefree childhood. She spent her entire life within the four walls of her home, bearing and rearing half a dozen children. My granny slogged day in and day out, looking after the needs of a large family, but she barely had any say in decision-making. Her husband, my grandfather, was the undisputed lord; his word was her command.

Coming to my mother’s generation, born a decade or so before India’s independence, women were better educated. My mother enjoyed a relatively greater degree of freedom than her mother, but she seldom questioned a man’s superiority. She was quite content playing second fiddle to her husband.

My own generation of women, called the Boomers, born in independent India in the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s, faces a distinct challenge. Women have stepped out to work, but men normally don’t share household responsibilities. While they may be earning, all major decisions are often still made by men. The problem is that while women have evolved, men of this generation often retain the mindset of their fathers believing that they are the boss, the undisputed head .Needless to say, the boss thinks he is always right. The educated urban woman of my age finds herself in a dilemma. She is neither as submissive as her mother nor possesses the assertiveness of the modern twenty-first-century woman to fully chart her own course. Her situation is akin to that of Trishank, the mythological king suspended between Heaven and Earth—neither here nor there.

I believe this is changing now. The urban educated millennial woman, who has been raised to be strong and confident, is not overly accepting. She has no qualms about being independent, vocal, and assertive about her rights. Unlike the women of my generation who had limited career options, the woman of the twenty-first century is breaking stereotypes, establishing herself in erstwhile male-dominated arenas. She is shattering the glass ceiling to assume leadership positions in industry and government organizations.

The young man of today has no choice but to accept the new-age educated woman who does not conform to the traditional feminine mould; therefore, he must change. He ought to be supportive, empathetic toward women’s aspirations and also forthcoming in sharing household responsibilities. He must see the writing on the wall. If he doesn’t, he will be left high and dry; this is precisely what the film depicts. In the end, Richa walks out of her marital home and starts a life afresh. Unlike her mother-in-law, who accepted and silently endured her man’s subjugation, Richa breaks free of patriarchal oppression and domestic drudgery. This is a clear sign of a changing gender dynamic—a rebellion against misogyny.

(Published in Woman’s era October 2025 issue)