Weddings can be simple, chilled out and joyful too

Even the corona lockdown restrictions could not dampen the enthusiasm of my son and daughter-in-law for the wedding. After all, their bosom friend was trying knots with her long time beau. Dressed in ethnic party wear, they were all set to attend the wedding. In amazement, I watched them open their laptop, log into their zoom link. Voila! There they were attending the marriage online along with their friends,  from different parts of the country and  across the world.

Online wedding! No, that is a misnomer. A real wedding complete with all the rituals Jai mala, phere, but with the virtual presence of guests joining via video conferencing. Technology doing wonders, creating a virtual reality when physical presence was not possible in unprecedented times!

I sat in disbelief to watch the wedding sans band, baja and barat, the   big-fat Indian wedding reduced to a simple ceremony with just a few people around.  Hardly any grandeur, no flashy decorations, no big pandals, no array of food stalls serving a variety of cuisines, just a simple wedding with rituals performed solemnly. Pandit ji chanted mantras and pheras took place in a sober atmosphere without the usual banter and jest around the ceremonies.

Corona has cast its shadow on everything, jeopardized big plans. Plans of tying knots tangled hopelessly in the pandemic showing no signs of abating; the ‘big-fat’ Indian weddings are being recast, the scale of celebrations downsized drastically. Covid time weddings are much simpler, leaner and of course, lighter on the pocket of the host.

Lockdown restrictions have significantly pruned the guest list. Though the permissible guest limit has now been raised to a hundred, the number is much smaller in comparison to huge wedding gatherings before the pandemic.  I recall the reaction of my son’s Australian colleague when he came to know that we were expecting around three to four hundred guests on my son’s wedding, of course during pre-corona days.  “Do you actually know so many people?” he asked. Well! It was not easy to explain to a foreigner that guests in India include not just the  family  and friends, but also neighbours, colleagues ,  former colleagues and sometimes even acquaintances. Wedding in India is not supposed to be an intimate family affair, but a big social gathering, an occasion to flaunt one’s riches and also connections.

Of course, two people coming together in a holy alliance is a special once-in-a-lifetime occasion to be celebrated with friends and relatives. Virtual participation of guests may be the new norm due to the abnormal circumstances, but can never replicate the feel of physical participation; in no way replace the real experience. However; weddings need not be a crowded affair with hundreds of people.

One invisible virus has shown that a wedding can be a chilled out with limited guests in an intimate gathering. Even without a shred of big-fat-wedding hangover, the occasion can spark off joy. Yes, wedding can be simple and joyful too.

(Published in Hindustan Times E paper as  Guest Column on November 1, 2020)